Suffering from a major setback in your life? My thoughts on recovery

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What do you tell someone suffering from a major work setback? 

I was recently asked to answer this excellent question on a public forum. 

Well, what do you say? And do the same principles apply when the traumatic event occurs in your private life, or in that of a child? I think they do and even with many types of loss - though I’d have more to say on bereavement - and here’s how I would respond.

Attend only to how the other is, right now

Firstly, I wouldn’t tell them anything. I wouldn’t try to fix it or say that things will be OK. However strong the urge to reach out and help relieve another person’s pain immediately, my hard learnt lesson has been that well-meant ideas offered too hastily, can make people feel less understood and even more alone. You end up pushing them away.

I would start by just being there with them, acknowledging how painful it must be and offering them kind and compassionate attention.

When we acknowledge someone’s painful experience with compassion, they calm down and soften up. It is a powerful way to help people feel connection and care and offers them the safety of really landing in their pain and becoming present with what is. You indirectly show them how to hold their own grief, with compassion and kindness.

This is the moment when something shifts. They start to calm down enough to be able to think more clearly and take some suggestions on board.

Attend to their emotional needs

Now’s the time to help them take a step back and see the bigger picture; to be reminded of what really matters in life, and how much more there is to call upon.

·     Our closest family and other social connections are key in troubled times. Their support is vital for our emotional nourishment.

·     Absorbing hobbies and the process of learning skills can also take our attention away from the pain and help us re-inhabit our larger selves. 

·     Exercise - however shattered we are - is a great way to change how we feel.

By attending to our human needs more fully like this, we naturally put our pain into perspective. Though it may not immediately be diminished, you are expanding the rest of your life and creating a sense of spaciousness.

Encourage them to look for new meaning

Major setbacks or traumatic events can be so devastating because they simply don’t fit in the narrative of our lives. They literally shatter our assumptions about ourselves, others and the world around us, as psychology professor Janoff-Bulman describes in her book ‘Shattered Assumptions’. Our strongly held views about the world as safe, predictable, just, benevolent and so forth no longer hold true. Who are we, now that those certainties turned out not to be true and we’ve discovered that bad things happen to good people?

As nature has it, the majority of us find new meaning and growth through our suffering. This is called posttraumatic growth, but is by no means a linear path, nor does it always take away the pain. The paradox is that suffering and setbacks can hugely increase our appreciation of life and the people in it.

 
As the Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl famously said, even when everything has been taken from us, we still retain the last human freedom of choosing our attitude.
 

So, I am inclined to ask people to look back to earlier setbacks and childhood disappointments - even if they were smaller in size - and be reminded of how they coped and perhaps became bigger, wiser versions of themselves in the process. Often setbacks pave the way to opportunities we didn’t know we had.

When working in the BBC many years ago, I was declined the promotion I expected at my annual review. In my fury over the injustice of the situation, I resigned there and then. Going down in the lift after the interview, in a discombobulated state, I explained the situation to a man I vaguely knew. By the time we reached the ground floor, I had the position I was after.

Although I hesitated to draw on this all too jammy an example of what I mean, it does illustrate the point and shows that the course of our lives really isn’t linear. 

I would encourage people to tolerate the discomfort of ambiguity, of not knowing what will happen, and always be open to the possibility of surprises that are better than what your mind can think up. 


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About Renée

Renée van der Vloodt ( M.A. , FHGI ) is a psychotherapist and coach – and has had a private practice for over 20 years, which is now based in Woodchurch (near Ashford), Kent.

Renée works with children and adults as a coach and therapist to help them overcome life's challenges and emotional difficulties including stress, burnout, anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anger or addictive behaviour.

Renée is a regular contributor to Breathe Magazine and the author of the CD Calm the Chaos of the Creative Mind.

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(Audio) Why can it be so difficult to snap out of angry behaviour?

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In our stressful modern world, inappropriate expressions of anger are becoming more and more frequent. When anger flares up uncontrollably or chronically, it indicates that our lives are out of balance and is a sign that we need to address the angry behaviour.

Often, we can find ourselves trapped in this angry place and have a really hard time getting ourselves out. It can be an addictive state to be in and because of the brain's natural negativity bias, sometimes we really have to focus in order to break free.

If you find yourself easily hooked by your anger and are having difficulties snapping out of this habit - you are not alone!

So why do we like to bask in this rage when so often it has negative consequences?

Discover Why You're Having Trouble Snapping Out Of Your Angry State 

In my recent conversation with Catherine Robson about anger and the creative mind, we explored many components of anger and Catherine asked an important question that I believe many people will also wonder: why is it so difficult to snap out of angry behaviour?

Listen to this extract of our conversation to hear my answer.

It is also important to say that angry outbursts are not a reflection of who you are, but rather a clear sign that your life is currently out of balance. 

Before you listen, remind yourself that dealing with anger requires courage, because under its hard feelings and hard-bitten inclination, sit softer and more vulnerable feelings and they can be very scary to face up to.

If you enjoyed this extract of our conversation, then you'll find much more in 'A Guide to Understanding Anger' in which I explore why and how anger can manifest in our lives – as well as further practical ways to deal with excessive anger and a guided meditation to help you break old, unhelpful patterns. 


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About Renée

Renée van der Vloodt ( M.A. , FHGI ) is a psychotherapist and coach – and has had a private practice for over 20 years, which is now based in Woodchurch (near Ashford), Kent.

Renée works with children and adults as a coach and therapist to help them overcome life's challenges and emotional difficulties including stress, burnout, anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anger or addictive behaviour.

Renée is a regular contributor to Breathe Magazine and the author of the CD Calm the Chaos of the Creative Mind.

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Want to Improve Your Communication Skills? Learn to listen!

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As a social species, our relationships bring us our greatest joys. They also bring us our greatest sorrows, alas.

Communication is the interface through which we are brought into relationship with each other - with our most intimate circle, friends, colleagues, neighbours, communities and society at large. It is the glue that binds us and gives us a deep sense of belonging, togetherness and meaning. When we feel heard, that is; for when we don’t, we feel isolated and alone.

Yet, in spite of its crucial role in our mental and emotional wellbeing, we take communication surprisingly for granted. We often remain ignorant about how it works and how vital the face-to-face element is. We might have been taught a few manners, or be naturally kind, interested and generous, but the increasing amounts of time we spend on social media alters our brains and therefore us - and not for the better when it comes to being present in relationships.

Communication is always reciprocal 

It is the face-to-face and to-ing and fro-ing that changes us both. Authentic communication requires an openness and willingness to be changed, or better still, to be transformed in the process. It asks of us a ‘willingness to be flexible, open, soft-bellied enough to be moved by the truth of the other’, as Zen priest ‘angel Kyodo williams’ puts it.

What does this mean practically and where to begin, if we want to improve our everyday communication? You might want to be a better friend or, improve the quality of your communication in the office.

There are many components to genuine communication but if we focus on listening alone, everything changes massively. And, even if you already spend your life listening to others - does it ever exhaust you? Has it ever led to symptoms of burn-out? If so, you can learn to listen more actively, more ‘compassionately’, in a way that will energise you as much as the person you are with.

How to make your communication genuine 

Deep listening is an embodied process.
Be present - in your body - so that you can ‘hold a safe space’ for the other.

Learn to create an inner spaciousness.
Sitting upright, feeling rooted through your seat and feet. Breathe comfortably and notice what arises when you listen in this way.

Empathy alone is not enough.
Although your talking partner may enjoy being listened to sympathetically, real listening requires more. It asks of you to notice and tolerate whatever arises in yourself. This can be an urge to jump in: to save the other from his suffering; or, to offer (your idea of) great solutions.

How easily listening becomes a mere staging post, where you wait for your turn to speak. Sometimes that urge to respond, to say something, is more immediately about getting away from the discomfort that comes up in us, rather than about helping the other.

Embodied presence allows us to notice what happens in us; to notice that we are stirred. The pain we feel can be a reminder of something similar that happened to us, and/or a genuine picking up on the pain of the other.

Either way, effective listening allows us to accept and to hold our own discomfort kindly whilst listening to the story of the other in an open-hearted way. No interruptions at this stage.

Saying nothing can speak volumes

I heard a mother refer to it, to her 10-year old child, as a ‘tea and biscuit moment’. When we fully accept what’s going on in ourselves as well as the other, in other words, when we make space for us both in this way without the urge to change anything (just yet!), the dynamics of the communication change. The other person feels held and heard.

The mother I mentioned created space for the child to share his enormous suffering. ‘God had made a mistake and given him the wrong body. He had meant to be a girl.’ The mum just listened. She offered no immediate solutions, nor did she fill the silence with words. But what her child did hear loudly and clearly were her unspoken words that said ‘I will always love you’.

Be under no illusions here. You can be as warm, talkative and enthusiastic as you like - but the quality of our communication is hinged on our ability to listen: to attend to the other with compassion.

Compassion - like love - offers space within ourselves to allow others and their opinions, interpretations and predicament to be as they are - in this moment.

This is a practice, as much as a tool, for which we don’t even need to ‘like’ the other. Tuning into ‘what is’ like that, puts you directly in touch with the vulnerability at the heart of our shared humanity.

Real listening is always a gift: to yourself, as well as, to the other. It transforms communication from a turn-taking exercise, to a co-created, jointly experienced relationship.


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About Renée

Renée van der Vloodt ( M.A. , FHGI ) is a psychotherapist and coach – and has had a private practice for over 20 years, which is now based in Woodchurch (near Ashford), Kent.

Renée works with children and adults as a coach and therapist to help them overcome life's challenges and emotional difficulties including stress, burnout, anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anger or addictive behaviour.

Renée is a regular contributor to Breathe Magazine and the author of the CD Calm the Chaos of the Creative Mind.

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The Lonely Planet: A Guide to Solving our Global Solitude

The Lonely Planet: A Guide to Solving our Global Solitude

We are currently facing an epidemic of loneliness and isolation right across the western world. Loneliness hides in plain sight, as they say, and according to a report out by the New Economics Foundation in 2017, it comes at a cost of £32 billion per annum, in the UK alone. The situation is so dire that in the UK we have a minister for loneliness, and social isolation is an official ‘health priority’. Never have we been more connected, and yet never have we felt more lonely.

 

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(Audio) Practical Ways to Manage Your Anger

(Audio) Practical Ways to Manage Your Anger

In my recent conversation with Catherine Robson about anger and the creative mind, we explored many components of anger: where it comes from, unexpected ways that it can manifest itself, the way it distorts perception and covers up 'fault lines' from our past and much more.

We also discussed lots of practical ways to deal with inappropriate expressions of anger – and  it's this part of our conversation that I'd like to share with you!

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In the Press: Let's Talk about Stress (for Teenagers and Parents)

In the Press: Let's Talk about Stress (for Teenagers and Parents)

Six in every 10 students say they experience levels of stress that interfere with everyday life (YouGov Survey, 2016) and there’s no reason to be embarrassed. But how do you recognise stress, and what can you do if it feels like it’s just too much?

Teen Breathe asked Renée van der Vloodt, who regularly helps young adults to manage life’s trials, and the first thing we learned – it’s good to talk.

Read and download the full article – as featured in Teen Breathe – for free.

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EP02 – In the Stress Lab: Breaking the Stress Cycle (A Podcast for HR Professionals)

In the Stress Lab

Breaking the Stress Cycle 

In the second episode of In the Stress Lab, Cathy Harris and Renée van der Vloodt sat down to discuss workplace stress and offer some very practical things to address this growing problem:

  • How do we define well-being and how does it link to resilience?
  • What are the most common symptoms of stress?
  • What are the most immediate things we can do to help reduce stress? Top tips.
  • How would we work with anger issues?
  • How would we help someone move beyond their panic attacks?

Listen to Episode 2 of our podcast below! (Haven't listened to Episode 1 yet? Click here ⇢)

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EP01 – In the Stress Lab: Workplace Stress (A Podcast for HR Professionals)

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Examining Stress in the Workplace

In the first episode of In the Stress Lab, Cathy Harris and I sat down to examine workplace stress and explore the following questions: 

  • Why are stress-related illnesses on the rise?
  • Where does the responsibility lie?
  • What are the main culprits contributing to stress, and what do employees put their stress down to?
  • How can the design and culture of an organisation often be contrary to what we need as human beings?
  • What are the first, simple and practical steps we can all take to help address stress in the workplace?

Listen to Episode 1 of our podcast below! 

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3 Surprising Ways to Break the Downward Spiral of Work Related Stress

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A workplace programme I taught recently on Stress Management and Resilience Training, yielded surprising results.

It's always pleasing when people enjoy themselves, but particularly so when it is because they get (re-) acquainted with themselves. That is an invigorating and joyful experience.

Stress is pernicious. We often don’t realise how deeply it’s engulfed us. We let it creep up on us and accept its discomfort as our everyday normal. Be reminded that the word itself has little meaning. It is an abstract term and therefore takes on the meaning we each ascribe to it in our head.

For this reason it is important, to identify what we mean as a group, before we deal with it. The participants on this course identified the following important markers:

  • Sleep disturbance
  • Poor focus
  • Compromised performance and joylessness
  • Feeling more isolated from those around them and an ebbing away of their sense of worth and trust in their own abilities.
  • Less trustful of each other, which affected team efforts.

If we witnessed this in our pets, we’d be up in arms. We’d know that this is not what nature intended. A stressed organism is in the process of imploding, and therefore shrinking. Compare this to a healthy life, the way it was meant: you see growth, creativity, joy and a sense of belonging and connection. Think only of a budding flower or unfolding fern. Our lives too, should be about expanding, growing and reaching out.

The course consisted of six 2-hour sessions spread out over 3 months and the feedback was pretty unanimous - a real reminder of how shared our experiences are; something we fail to notice in the isolation of stress.  I loved how simple it actually was to make small changes with high impact results.  After the course, participants reported:

  • Lowered stress levels
  • Increased clarity of mind
  • The ability to make better choices and comfortably set boundaries (without feeling guilty)
  • An improved sense of connectedness and communication with colleagues and family members.

It all begins with the realisation that you are an important enough person to make time for.

Time is finite and precious, as a result. Think carefully about how you spend it.

That realisation can breathe fresh oxygen into our minds and invigorate our intentions to make healthy changes.

Carve out time for yourself and do these 3 things to break the downward spiral of stress... 

1.    Re-engage with something that absorbs you

Hobbies and interests fully absorb us. They invite us to engage and develop skills. We change as a result.

One woman went back to playing the guitar on a very regular basis. A man realised how the disconnection from his routine environment would alter his perception of work-related problems and give him new ideas. He took up daily walks and although he wasn’t always able to change the walk, by focussing his attention outwards, these walks were always different. Nature changes itself continuously. The newness of each walk made him experience the fullness of life around him, which reduced the size of his problems.

Should you be wondering about the time such activities might take, put a timer on your mobile phone and find out how many hours a day you surf across cyberspace. If we aren’t accountable to ourselves for the time we spend on the internet it dulls the mind: social media reduces our sense of self-worth and we don’t develop skills nor does it offer the brain a complete break like being with real friends, pursuing a sport or other hobby. However addictive and seemingly real, the internet will never replace real life.

2.    Punctuate the day more clearly

Regularly press the pause button to stop, breathe and take stock.

Several people built in regular moments to create these mini clearings during their day:

At home: to set intentions for the day or the week ahead; to look back on the day before deciding what to do with the evening and plan for tomorrow. It could be by getting up a bit earlier and have some time to oneself before plunging into the day. We start to feel more present and better in ourselves if we regularly lift ourselves out of the fast moving stream of life and look down at it from the bank. That stillness offers a chance to hear more clearly your own inner voice.

At work: look for opportunities to consciously take a slow deep breath between activities, before responding or pressing the send button on the email. How often do we not make ourselves guilty of reacting to everything that happens or is said around us. Try encouraging others to ‘tell you a little bit more about that’.

Notice (i) what a relief it is to discover that it isn’t necessary to jump into every conversation with an opinion, (ii) how much energy you save, and (iii) how stopping yourself in this way deepens connection.

Pressing the pause button creates a space between a stimulus and your response.

3.    Coming home to yourself

You may laugh when I tell you that science is only just discovering how important it is to engage your body in your life.

The practice of mindfulness - whether through the breath, mindful movements or stretches or by connecting with the felt sense of your experience - gives people a stronger, safer and more satisfying experience of themselves. Coming out of our heads and dropping into our bodies changes how we interact with the world.

One last thought... 

There is no such thing as a stress free life. We can go as far as saying that a stress free life would atrophy the brain. It is healthy to step out of our comfort zone and have problems to solve. Just as exposure to germs strengthens our physical immune system, so too can we build and harness our emotional immune system.

Resilience training does just that. It empowers us to ride the turbulent waves of life and to emerge as stronger, bolder and more human.


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About Renée

Renée van der Vloodt ( M.A. , FHGI ) is a psychotherapist and coach – and has had a private practice for over 20 years, which is now based in Woodchurch (near Ashford), Kent.

Renée is the author of the CD Calm the Chaos of the Creative Mind and works with children and adults as a coach and therapist to help them overcome life's challenges and emotional difficulties including stress, burnout, anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anger or addictive behaviour.

Renée provides executive resilience coaching and stress reduction programmes for teams. 

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(Audio) Do you experience the phenomenon of emotional backdraft?

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After we recorded A Guide to Understanding AngerI had a niggling sense that there was an important question I'd missed. It was this: why is it that when everything is going well, I start to worry about everything that could go wrong and get a surge of discomfort?

So, Catherine Robson, who helps me pull together all these recordings, and I sat down to explore this question and the phenomenon known in the world of Mindful Self-Compassion as backdraft

When we begin to show ourselves self-compassion, the pain can often increase at first. Just as when everything is going right, we often worry about the future or get a surge of anger or discomfort.

As Dr Kristen Neff says, “Love reveals everything unlike itself.”

Backdraft is a firefighting term that describes when a door or window is opened or shattered in a burning building – the oxygen rushes in, giving the flames new fuel, and the flames burst out. The same is true when you open the doors to your heart.

Listen to this short audio recording where I speak to Catherine about what backdraft is and why it occurs. You may be familiar with the scenarios and examples we discuss... 

Listen now or download to listen later

If you enjoyed this recording and want to learn more, take a look at my online shop where you'll find A Guide to Understanding Anger and other audio guides. 

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About Renée

Renée van der Vloodt ( M.A. , FHGI ) is a psychotherapist and coach – and has had a private practice for over 20 years, which is now based in Woodchurch (near Ashford), Kent.

Renée is the author of the CD Calm the Chaos of the Creative Mind and works with children and adults as a coach and therapist to help them overcome life's challenges and emotional difficulties including stress, burnout, anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anger or addictive behaviour.

Renée provides executive resilience coaching and stress reduction programmes for teams. 

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How we can all individually help reduce stress in the workplace

How we can all individually help reduce stress in the workplace

Recently, I spent a day at a well-being conference organised by the London branch of the CIPD (Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development). It was packed.  I knew things were bad in the workplace, but I had no idea quite how bad.

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In the Press: Cool to be kind (Quietening the Inner Critic of the Creative Mind)

An active and vivid imagination often spurs creative people to achieve great things, but it can also conjure up doom-and-gloom scenarios that isolate and bring on feelings of self-loathing.

Perhaps it’s time creatives showed themselves more self-compassion?

Read my latest article for Breathe Magazine and discover: 

  • What being a 'creative person' really means
  • Why some creative people feel so intensely
  • How to quieten your inner critic
  • How being kind to yourself can lead you to develop a stable and more consistent sense of self-worth

Pick up a copy of the magazine, available in all good stockists or online – or download the article (for free) above.


Could you benefit from sessions of coaching or therapy via Skype?

Over the past year, I've been working with increasing numbers of people via Skype (or Facetime) as it suits certain types of of situations very well – including dealing with workplace stress and short sessions for parents to focus on specific difficulties as they arise.


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Renée van der Vloodt ( M.A. , FHGI ) is a psychotherapist and coach – and has had a private practice for over 20 years, which is now based between Woodchurch (Ashford), Kent and the Elysian Centre in Rye, East Sussex.

Renée is the author of the CD Calm the Chaos of the Creative Mind and works with children and adults as a coach and therapist to help them overcome life's challenges and emotional difficulties including stress, burnout, anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anger or addictive behaviour.

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In the Press: 5 things a psychotherapist wants you to know

Telling people you’re a psychotherapist is an instant conversation stopper.

For all our interest in wellbeing, there remains a taboo about the topic of mental health and psychotherapy.

Perhaps it’s a fear of someone rooting around in your past, or anxiety about receiving confirmation of what so many fear: being flawed. Or maybe you dread the thought of being trapped into a lifetime of therapy. Or perhaps you have resigned yourself to always feeling this way.

As a psychotherapist who has been practising for more than 20 years, there are five things I’d like you to know – and I wrote an article for Breathe Magazine detailing exactly what they are. 

Pick up a copy of the magazine, available in all good stockists or online – or download the article (with the most beautiful illustrations) above.


Could you benefit from sessions of coaching or therapy via Skype?

Over the past year, I've been working with increasing numbers of people via Skype (or Facetime) as it suits certain types of of situations very well – including dealing with workplace stress and short sessions for parents to focus on specific difficulties as they arise.


Renée van der Vloodt ( M.A. , FHGI ) is a psychotherapist and coach – and has had a private practice for over 20 years, which is now based between Woodchurch (Ashford), Kent and the Elysian Centre in Rye, East Sussex.

Renée is the author of the CD Calm the Chaos of the Creative Mind and works with children and adults as a coach and therapist to help them overcome life's challenges and emotional difficulties including stress, burnout, anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anger or addictive behaviour.

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AUDIO: Do you struggle to implement healthy changes in your life?

AUDIO: Do you struggle to implement healthy changes in your life?

There are many reasons why we may find it hard to reach a personal goal or to get a new project off the ground. One thing is for sure – labelling yourself with a derogatory term isn’t going to solve this problem.

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In the Press: All we need is...

Nature predisposes us to thrive and flourish.

Yet more and more people are struggling to find their place in the world, and mental health problems are on the increase. What do we need to reverse the trend and to build health, happiness and resilience into the fabric of our lives?

Maslow and, more recently, the Human Givens Paradigm offer us real answers that are in keeping with the rules of nature to which we are subject. Rather than looking immediately at stress-related symptoms, they suggest we first take a step back and look at the bigger picture: getting our emotional needs met.

In Issue 5 of Breathe Magazine, I explore our nine emotional needs and how you can get them met.

Pick up a copy of the magazine, available in all good stockists or online – or download the article (with the most beautiful illustrations) above.

In the Press: When Life Tips out of Balance

Don’t we all love that effortless feeling of flow?

The times when life unfolds with ease and we experience a clarity of mind and levels of energy that imbue us with what seems a permanent sense of optimism and inspiration. I often wish I could bottle that feeling and pull it off the shelf when life seems more of an uphill struggle.

It’s curious, though, how difficult we find it to notice ourselves drifting away from that ‘happy home’; how long it can take us to realise that our life is out of balance, and in fact, that we’re not very well at all.

In Issue 5 of Breathe Magazine, I explore what to do 'when life tips out of balance' – and how to return to that feeling of flow. 

Pick up a copy of the magazine, available in all good stockists or online – or download the article (with the most beautiful illustrations) above.

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AUDIO: How to break out of your irritable mood

When you're feeling irritable and snappy, it can feel like you've drifted far away from yourself.

With the added pressure and uncertainty of life, we lash out at our partners, family or co-workers. But how to break out of your bad mood?

The answer lies in 'returning home' – back to your kind, resourceful self. 

Below is practical, guided exercise I use with clients to help them reconnect with their inner resources. The more you strengthen your connection to your calm and wise inner voice, the more "bounce" you'll develop and the quicker you'll be able to snap out of your moods. 

Keep coming back to this exercise when you need a tool to help you when you're feeling snappy – and let me know how you get on! 

 

HOW TO HELP YOURSELF AND OTHERS MANAGE ANGER SUCCESSFULLY

A ONE-DAY WORKSHOP WITH RENÉE VAN DER VLOODT

SATURDAY 6TH MAY 9.30AM – 4.30PM
REGENT'S COLLEGE, LONDON

This practical workshop is for health professionals, teachers, line managers, and anyone interested in truly comprehending and learning to deal with this most misunderstood of our human emotions.

This workshop will give you: 

Up-to-date insights and understanding            

  • New insights into the real causes of (excessive) anger that often go unnoticed — even by health care professionals
  • Understanding of the upside of anger    
  • Ways to identify the patterns of angry behaviour and an insight into the different and often hidden ways anger disorders manifest themselves including subversive behaviour
  • The latest scientific understanding of how anger is generated and how chronic anger affects physical and emotional health
  • and much more!

About Renée

Renée van der Vloodt ( M.A. , FHGI ) is a psychotherapist and coach – and has had a private practice for over 20 years, which is now based between Woodchurch (Ashford), Kent and the Elysian Centre in Rye, East Sussex.

Renée is the author of the CD Calm the Chaos of the Creative Mind and works with children and adults as a coach and therapist to help them overcome life's challenges and emotional difficulties including stress, burnout, anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anger or addictive behaviour.

Book a session with Renée » 

 

In the Press: Why Bother?

In Issue 4 of Breathe Magazine (January / February 2017), you'll find my article: "Why Bother?".

We can be our own worst critics – and this negative internal voice can wear us down. We wind up wondering, "why should I bother?". 

But there are things we can do to reignite our sense of joy and optimism – and feel connected to ourselves and motivated to explore our innate potential and the world beyond. 

Pick up a copy of the magazine, available in all good stockists or online – or download the article (with the most beautiful illustrations) below.

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Celebrate with Generosity of Spirit

Celebrate with Generosity of Spirit

Like Tennessee Williams, ‘I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.’

This is not to say that I haven’t been particularly blessed with a loving family and extraordinary friends, but it is that ‘uncalled for’ generosity and connection to me and my fate that has deepened my sense of belonging, by being made to feel that my life matters.

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In the Press: Breathe Magazine (November 16)

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In Issue 3 of Breathe Magazine, you'll find my article: "Calm the chaos of the creative mind".

Inspired by my work with creative people and audio CD, this article gives you practical ideas on how to stay focussed, tackle time management, work on your relationships and discover the 'real you'. 

Pick up a copy of the magazine, available in all good stockists or online – or download the article (with the most beautiful illustrations) below.

 

Want to learn more?

This article is based on my audio CD: Calm the Chaos of the Creative Mind. It provides an in-depth guide to unearthing and harnessing your true potential.

For more information and to purchase the CD (including a free ebook) click here


About Renée

Renée van der Vloodt ( M.A. , FHGI ) is a psychotherapist and coach – and has had a private practice for over 20 years, which is now based between Woodchurch (Ashford), Kent and the Elysian Centre in Rye, East Sussex.

Renée is the author of the CD Calm the Chaos of the Creative Mind and works with children and adults as a coach and therapist to help them overcome life's challenges and emotional difficulties including stress, burnout, anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anger or addictive behaviour.

Book a session or explore the website

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