Millie’s Mum was devastated that her 12-year old daughter would throw a tantrum at the drop of a hat and terrorise the household. She had even started having her volcanic outbursts in public. Her Mum equated this relentless anger to a deep lack of gratitude and appreciation. By the time they came to me, Millie’s Mum was in a constant state of sadness.

With a little bit of probing it soon transpired that Millie’s tantrums had been set off several years earlier. She had been looking forward to the arrival of a new sibling and as the eldest had been involved in all the preparations. The baby had died at birth and not come home. Nothing could have prepared Millie for the shock of this. The rest of the family disintegrated with grief, but Millie gritted her teeth and took on the role of the strong one on whom everyone could rely.

How it had affected her though, was that she could no longer handle any ambiguity, any surprises. She could not answer questions with “I don’t know”.

Sometimes anger masks a deeper trauma template. Make sure to seek the help of a Human Givens therapist to help you or your child neutralise that pattern.

I saw Millie three times. She is no longer troubled by anger and has learned to express her loving nature more appropriately.

Read a longer story of another traumatised and angry child

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