AUDIO: How to break out of your irritable mood

When you're feeling irritable and snappy, it can feel like you've drifted far away from yourself.

With the added pressure and uncertainty of life, we lash out at our partners, family or co-workers. But how to break out of your bad mood?

The answer lies in 'returning home' – back to your kind, resourceful self. 

Below is practical, guided exercise I use with clients to help them reconnect with their inner resources. The more you strengthen your connection to your calm and wise inner voice, the more "bounce" you'll develop and the quicker you'll be able to snap out of your moods. 

Keep coming back to this exercise when you need a tool to help you when you're feeling snappy – and let me know how you get on! 

 

HOW TO HELP YOURSELF AND OTHERS MANAGE ANGER SUCCESSFULLY

A ONE-DAY WORKSHOP WITH RENÉE VAN DER VLOODT

SATURDAY 6TH MAY 9.30AM – 4.30PM
REGENT'S COLLEGE, LONDON

This practical workshop is for health professionals, teachers, line managers, and anyone interested in truly comprehending and learning to deal with this most misunderstood of our human emotions.

This workshop will give you: 

Up-to-date insights and understanding            

  • New insights into the real causes of (excessive) anger that often go unnoticed — even by health care professionals
  • Understanding of the upside of anger    
  • Ways to identify the patterns of angry behaviour and an insight into the different and often hidden ways anger disorders manifest themselves including subversive behaviour
  • The latest scientific understanding of how anger is generated and how chronic anger affects physical and emotional health
  • and much more!

About Renée

Renée van der Vloodt ( M.A. , FHGI ) is a psychotherapist and coach – and has had a private practice for over 20 years, which is now based between Woodchurch (Ashford), Kent and the Elysian Centre in Rye, East Sussex.

Renée is the author of the CD Calm the Chaos of the Creative Mind and works with children and adults as a coach and therapist to help them overcome life's challenges and emotional difficulties including stress, burnout, anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anger or addictive behaviour.

Book a session with Renée » 

 

In the Press: Why Bother?

In Issue 4 of Breathe Magazine (January / February 2017), you'll find my article: "Why Bother?".

We can be our own worst critics – and this negative internal voice can wear us down. We wind up wondering, "why should I bother?". 

But there are things we can do to reignite our sense of joy and optimism – and feel connected to ourselves and motivated to explore our innate potential and the world beyond. 

Pick up a copy of the magazine, available in all good stockists or online – or download the article (with the most beautiful illustrations) below.

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Celebrate with Generosity of Spirit

Celebrate with Generosity of Spirit

Like Tennessee Williams, ‘I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.’

This is not to say that I haven’t been particularly blessed with a loving family and extraordinary friends, but it is that ‘uncalled for’ generosity and connection to me and my fate that has deepened my sense of belonging, by being made to feel that my life matters.

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The Hidden Face of Anger

The Hidden Face of Anger

Subtle and subversive bullying tactics are rife in families, organisations and in society at large. How often have you come across the ‘polite’ cold shoulder or other blanking tactics, the perpetually sullen face or malicious gossip thinly disguised as concern?  What about manipulation through ‘illness’, or other forms of sabotage?

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How to keep your anxiety in check

How to keep your anxiety in check

Learn how to keep your anxiety in check with this guide – PLUS download your free printable poster with a helpful acronym to help you (even when you're busy or on the move). 

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Making the Most of Your Summer: Reconnect with the Joy of Living

Making the Most of Your Summer: Reconnect with the Joy of Living

When we regularly break out of our habitual, unconscious patterns, we begin to feel more alive and indeed more connected. Here are some thoughts on how to move out of feeling stuck – and reconnect with the joy of living PLUS a worksheet for you to set your intentions for your summer! 

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A surprisingly simple way to counter everyday fatigue

A surprisingly simple way to counter everyday fatigue

Do you ever feel tired and lack lustre without knowing what to do about it?

Have you stopped to ask yourself what might be sapping your energy and vitality?

We have busy lives, worrying about money, jobs, our families… If you dig a little deeper you’ll uncover one of the greatest and most hidden causes of fatigue: our inner critic. 

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Why bother? Rekindle your sense of meaning and joy [ Audio Blog]

Why bother? Rekindle your sense of meaning and joy [ Audio Blog]

Do you sometimes feel disheartened or distressed? Feelings of gloom can descend upon us depending on what’s going on in our lives; sometimes things just seem to be conspiring against us! Or, perhaps you have a child with ‘why bother’ attitude… 

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A Quick-Fire Guide to Better Sleep

A Quick-Fire Guide to Better Sleep

Sleep matters. The quality and amount of sleep we get affects our thinking, behaviour and health. 

In this guide, I share ideas and practical steps that you can take to help you improve your sleep.

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Moving Psychotherapy & Coaching Practice to the NEW Elysian Centre in Rye, East Sussex

Moving Psychotherapy & Coaching Practice to the NEW Elysian Centre in Rye, East Sussex

The Elysian Centre is a new holistic centre for mental health and well-being in Rye, East Sussex, offering a wide range of therapies. These include homoeopathy, cranial osteopathy, zero balancing, shiatsu, reflexology, yoga and psychotherapy.  

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Dear Renée: How Do You Forgive? The Art of Letting Go and Moving On

Dear Renée: How Do You Forgive? The Art of Letting Go and Moving On

Forgiveness liberates the wronged person and sets her free. It is empowering and invigorating, and it renews our sense of purpose. No longer is our attention fragmented or borne down, but realigned to our journey. Forgiveness re-connects us with ourselves, others and the wider world. But how do you facilitate forgiveness?

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Dear Renée: How do I help a dyslexic child regulate their emotions?

Dear Renée: How do I help a dyslexic child regulate their emotions?

Parents expect me focus on the dyslexia and not on their relationship with their child. How do I help a child to regulate his emotions when he lives in what is effectively a ‘toxic’ home environment?

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The Hidden Causes of Anger

The Hidden Causes of Anger

Anger has evolved as a defensive survival mechanism and when used appropriately it allows for a vital response. In our stressful modern world, inappropriate expressions of anger are becoming more and more frequent, however. When anger flares up uncontrollably or chronically, it indicates that our lives our out of balance and is a sign that we need to address the angry behaviour.

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8 essential steps to reduce your child's anger

8 essential steps to reduce your child's anger

Society at large is getting more aggressive and there are many factors that contribute to the rise of angry behaviour. Children copy what they see others do. Anger is often a sign of frustration and overwhelm.  It’s what happens when we are unaware of how far we’ve drifted off from our natural state of well-being.

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How to help your child stay connected to their intuition

How to help your child stay connected to their intuition

Intuition is like radar that picks up signals and leads you to the right place at the right time.  Children come into the world naturally connected to that inner voice which speaks to us without words. Read this post to discover how to help your children stay connected to this important guide...

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How to connect with your inner voice

How to connect with your inner voice

We all have an inner compass, our very own guide, always on the look-out and engaged in the process of helping us stay alive and lead a life worthy of who we are and what we have to bring to the world. Could there be a better moment than right now, as a new year lies invitingly ahead, to be reminded of that particular strength and to make a conscious effort to reconnect with your own inner voice?

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A Quick-Fire Guide to Managing Anger

A Quick-Fire Guide to Managing Anger

Are you troubled by your (chronic) anger or do you have a short fuse? Perhaps you feel your anger to be justified?

Either way, the angry person ultimately pays a heavy price in terms of health and relationships, and it’s never too late to tame the temper.

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A Quick-Fire Guide to Improve your Focus and Get More Done

A Quick-Fire Guide to Improve your Focus and Get More Done

Do you struggle with paying attention when you need to, or get too absorbed by unwanted thoughts or activities? 

I have seen in my practice that the quality of life is directly linked to the quality with which we pay attention. This guide will help you tune your focus and increase the quality of your attention.

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A Quick-Fire Guide to Managing Stress and Anxiety

A Quick-Fire Guide to Managing Stress and Anxiety

Successful stress management is easier than you think but we often need reminders when we are in the midst of it. 

This guide has been created to do just that – to remind you of things you can do to calm down, get your needs met and connect to others and yourself when you're feeling stressed.

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Is Self-Doubt Getting the Better of You?

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Anxiety is Part of the Creative Process

Does your anxiety spill over into self-doubt? Does it stop you moving forward? 

You may be one of those ‘what’s the point anyway' type of people, or perhaps you’ve become good at displacement and procrastination allowing yourself to get caught up in all the daily distractions as they come flooding in without getting down to what really matters to you?  

Maybe you seek constant affirmation?

We need to learn how to balance the anxiety of self-doubt by accepting the doubts and embracing the mistakes to provide a greater sense of joy in the creative process - and this is what I want to explore with you now... 

 Why not make this the time to face the facts?

Let’s accept that creativity and anxiety are constant bedfellows for most of us. We worry when we do and we worry when we don’t.

Self-doubt is like an exposed, curious and tentative child who first steps into a busy playground, without the comfort of a familiar face.

We want to fit in, belong and told that we are OK! Yet, it becomes the fate of many a creative to carry on feeling the outsider, whose words and ideas can fall on deaf ears, get dismissed or laughed at. After all, van Gogh only sold one painting in his lifetime.

Nature has paradoxically wired us up to connect and belong, as well as to be separate.  A reasonable dose of self-doubt therefore is vital to your survival in the group - your audience - and yet, too much of it kills off your very essence.

Ambiguity is the birthplace of new ideas.

Yes, it often feels very painful and exposed too.

Those glorious and inspired moments when an idea ‘comes to us’ require openness, a state of receptivity. Check it out yourself. Certainty on the other hand can be the death of thought.

How do we ‘lean into the unknown’, as Pema Chödrön puts it?

How do we balance the anxiety of self-doubt with a sense of joy and fun?

Perhaps these two challenges can help you move through your doubt:

1.    Fully accept your doubts and acknowledge the vulnerability they bring, while getting on with things anyway.

Act normally in other words. I like to imagine what ‘acting normally’ looks like on the outside.

Remember that the worry also provides the fuel and edginess needed to move and make; it gives the poignancy and individuality that your creativity deserves.

Don’t wait then, to start making friends with your anxiety.

2.    Look forward to your mistakes.  

Pema Chödrön quotes James Joyce who saw mis-takes as portals of discovery, or opportunities to see things in fresh and new ways. Mistakes are part of the process in other words; they are not failures to be avoided at all costs.

Pema’s new book uses Samuel Beckett’s words in the title:

“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.”

I would encourage you to do the same.

So, since ‘perfection is for the gods’ after all, I hope these signposts will help you emerge more consistently and unapologetically as yourself!

Enjoy the journey - and please do leave me a comment, I would love to hear if this resonated with you.


About Renée

Renée van der Vloodt ( M.A. , FHGI ) is a psychotherapist and coach – and has had a private practice for over 20 years, which is now based between Woodchurch (Ashford), Kent and the Elysian Centre in Rye, East Sussex.

Renée is the author of the CD Calm the Chaos of the Creative Mind and works with children and adults as a coach and therapist to help them overcome life's challenges and emotional difficulties including stress, burnout, anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anger or addictive behaviour.

 
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